Masquerade / Idiosyncratica Challenge
August 1, 2008I was graciously invited to submit a drabble (100-word story) to Idiosyncratica this month. Here’s my humble attempt:
My best friend and I are sitting on her daybed watching her sister dance with my boyfriend. Her sister’s shaking her ass in front of his crotch and he’s going along like he’s got no choice, twisting his hips and flapping his arms like a horny pigeon.
When the reggae song ends he comes over, drops on his knees, and rests his head on my lap like we’re in a Streetcar Named Desire or something. So cliché but I go along with it. I pour my drink over his head and watch his long hair soak up the booze.
i loved that ending- big grin, almost laughed out loud. it was perfect because i just happened to have to scroll down for just the last two lines, which gave it a real sense of timing. HA!
[...] to remind everyone to add Gessy Experiment to your Idiosyncratica blogroll. Be sure and check out Gessy’s drabble [...]
That’s an interesting story, Gessy. Is it based on something you’ve actually seen/experienced? I liked the simile about the pigeon.
Thanks for contributing, and welcome to our group; I’m sure we’re all happy to have a new member on board
What we’ll do now is make you an administrator of the main Idiosyncratica blog so you can post there.
Be sure to check in for new topics and posts!
Don’t forget to give her the secret handshake, too, Mike!
I can’t fault this piece, Gessy. Highly visual with a strong sense of character. Like Mike, I especially liked the horny pigeon! So apposite.
Hi Gessy, welcome to the group. Enjoyed the image of Bf’s long hair soaking up the booze.
Thanks everyone for your generous comments. I’m very excited by the drabbles I’ve read so far and I’m looking forward to reading more of your work.
Mike asked if my piece was based on a real event. The answer is, sort of. In my youth, I experienced many tense social moments and this one is certainly close to an actual experience. Often we react to certain situations the way we are expected to react. My protagonist is aware of this superficiality but is unable to step away from it.
I think that when your fictional space is limited you have to compensate by heightening an aspect of your story. Hence, the imagery, wordplay, etc. Though I often resist conventional literary devices, I found it hard not to use them in a 100-word story.